Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. A day to remember all babies who became angels too soon. Miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, and infant loss are all topics most people do not want to talk about. Too many families grieve in silence, and sometimes they never come to terms with their loss. For those of us who have lost our little loves, we need support, love, and to be able to talk. Awareness day is so important. Today at 7pm (in all time zones) everyone is invited to light a candle for all our little angels, and keep it lit for at least one hour. I light my candle for the whole day!
Yes I am a mommy of an angel. I had an early miscarriage. Our angel became an angel at 6 weeks gestation. June 26, 2008 was one of the hardest days of my life. It was the day I woke up and realized something was not right. This was our 3rd pregnancy and I was overwhelmed with the thought that I did something wrong to cause this. I had two healthy normal pregnancies before. Why was this happening now?? That day I made an appointment and it was confirmed that our little bean wasn’t going to make it. That afternoon was the hardest ever, both emotionally and physically. My husband, Travis, my older boys, and myself felt empty, angry and sad. I was so thankful for all the support I had from Travis! He is my rock. After a few weeks I was strong enough to reach out and ask for help. That was when I was also able to find a particular forum online that to this day the ladies there are also my rocks. I am thankful for that amazing group of women who helped me through one of the hardest times in my life. Many of them also had lost their little loves. We also found an amazing church that embraced us and helped us all get through our grief. My little angel gave me more strength than I knew I had. Today I try to provide strength to those who need it when their little ones grow wings too soon.
One thing you will always find on me, in my home, and even in my business logo is a dragonfly. It is the symbol of our baby and means a lot to me. A few days before I found out we were pregnant, after months of trying, I started having vivid dreams about a dragonfly and a baby. The dreams even continued for a little while after our miscarriage. Every time, even to this day, that I think about my little one or need extra strength, I stumble upon a dragonfly. We believe it is our sign that our baby is still with us. My middle son, Tristan, still insists that our baby was a girl. Our baby’s name would have been Emma if she was. For a boy we did not have any idea what we would name him. Maybe that was a sign. 🙂 Our angel is now my strength, and having a dragonfly with me reminds me of that.
So today we lit a candle for our little angel and many other little angels as well. We will always miss and love you little one!!
We are also saying extra little prayers for families close to us that also have little angels. Connor M., Caden, Gabriella, Sophia, Steven, Lucy, Grace, Eva, Connor, Catherine, Matthew, Gavin, Seth, and too many more…you are truly missed and loved deeply!
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